Teachers From Oblivion
by Lady Wonderful
Summary: When Roxas transferred to Destiny Islands High, he was hoping for a regular life. He wasn't expecting all of his teachers to be crazy, and what's up with Axel Flynn following him all the time? AU Org XIII as teachers, onesided AkuRoku, Maybe some Zemyx
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: One day, Demyx and Zexion will be mine! D But until then (which is never) they belong to Square Enix. And all the other people too. (

Bear with me, I've never posted anything on here before. It's so confusing! s

The Organization are teachers! Hooray! I'm so jealous of Roxas right now... Enjoy! xD

* * *

"Now today class we're going to be making pizzas," Xaldin (or Mr Fisher) said pleasantly to his students. But then his eyebrows narrowed, almost completely engulfing his eyes. "So you had better have brought your ingredients." He brandished his cleaver and swung it to and fro in a threatening motion.

Roxas sighed with relief. He could see his box of cooking supplies from the corner of his eye, packed in a Kingdom Mart shopping bag. Having just transferred to Destiny Islands High, he was desperate to make a good impression. His cousin Sora was not so lucky. He heard him gulp in fear.

"Roxas… can I share?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not?!"

"I only have enough for myself."

"Aw, come on, please!"

"No!"

"Now go collect your ingredients from the desk and we'll get started," Xaldin said menacingly over their whispers.

Quick as lightning, Sora dashed over to the side table and swiped his cousin's bag. Usually he would have been more conscientious, however when Mr Fisher's detentions were concerned it was every man for himself.

"Heeey! That's mine!" Roxas whined. "Sir!"

"Well, well, well, the new kid doesn't have his ingredients," Xaldin stroked his eyebrows. "There are some teachers who believe that kids on their first day of school should be given a chance. Unfortunately, I am not one of them! Detention!"

"But that's not fair!" Roxas pleaded. "Sora stole my ingredients!"

"Blaming it on other students, are you? That's it, you're going to the headmaster!" Mr Fisher sighed in exasperation and shoved a detention slip in the poor teenager's hand. "Off you go!"

"But…but…" Roxas argued feebly.

"Do I need to ask you again?"

Defeated, he bowed his head in shame, collected his belongings and shuffled pathetically out of the cookery classroom. Once outside, he angrily kicked over a waste paper bin in frustration.

"I saw that!" An ambiguous looking pink haired teacher pounced on him. He was wearing a beret at a jaunty angle. "Express that anger! Let it all out! Let me see those facial expressions!"

Roxas frowned in confusion.

"That's it! Even so, I can't let you just kick bins about all day, so here's a detention," the teacher sighed regretfully and handed him a pink slip. "Ciao!" And then he sashayed down the hall.

"Two detentions in the space of a minute? This is ridiculous."

And so Roxas made his way to see the headmaster, although it took about twenty minutes for him to find his way there, since after all, it was his first day. There to greet him was a pointy nosed secretary.

"Hello dear, here to see the head?"

"I guess so."

She tutted. "What did you do?"

"I was accused of blaming my cousin of stealing my cooking ingredients, when he took mine in the first place."

"Aw, that's too bad," she didn't seem to care much, as she favoured staring at the abstract paintings of hearts posted along the walls then listening to his pleas of defence. The telephone rang; she picked it up. "Yes, okay." She turned to him. "The headmaster will see you now."

Roxas swallowed as he entered the room that would certainly be his equivalent to hell. He had not seen the head before now, and he could only pray that he was friendly.

He didn't look friendly. He was tanned, with long silver hair and bright orange eyes that burned into Roxas' flesh as if they were secretly harbouring invisible lasers. Before him on the desk sat a nifty little executive toy (actively bopping from side to side), but what would usually have been a set of round balls were instead a set of little hearts. "Take a seat young man."

Roxas, shaking from head to toe, did as he was told.

"Good morning."

"Uh, good morning, sir."

"Now what have you done to be sent here?" Headmaster Xemnas stared at the boy for a few moments. "Are you the new student?"

"Yes, uh, yeah I am."

"Dear oh dear. Sent to me on your first day? I hope you have a good excuse."

Roxas quickly explained in a vain attempt to clear his name.

"I see… Well, I will not punish you, since I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. But you'll still go to Mr Fisher's detention, okay?" Headmaster Xemnas rested his chin on his delicately laced hands, elbows propped on the table.

The poor kid realised that arguing his case was only going to get him in even deeper trouble. He sighed, "Yes, sir."

"Off you go, then."

"Thanks sir," Roxas mumbled, standing up and hastily making his escape. But once he had reached the door, the head's boring voice appeared again.

"Destiny Islands High is a good, successful school. I am intensely proud of it. So if I see any," he coughed., "weeds in this prosperous garden I will show no restraint in… yanking them out. Understood?"

Roxas flinched. "I understand."

And so, second lesson arrived, and the traumatised Roxas was sitting in Geography and waiting for his teacher to arrive. He stared despairingly at the two detentions laid on the table before him. Oh, how his parents were going to maul him when he got home…

"Excuse me? You're in my seat…"

He looked up. The person happened to be a girl. She was quite pretty, with long blonde hair and a nervous smile on her face. "I'm sorry, I'll move."

"No, you don't have to… But you'll just have to put up with sitting next to me."

"Okay, I'll stay then. I'm Roxas."

"I'm Namine," she smiled, after pulling up the chair beside him. "Aren't you the new boy?"

"Yeah."

"What teachers have you got?"

Roxas handed her his timetable.

"Oh poor you. Mr Thornton for maths? I had him last year and he was awful, and then there's Mr Stewart… he's, uh, weird. Oh! You have Mr Flynn for p.e.!"

"Mr Flynn?" Roxas shuffled closer, suddenly interested by Namine's change in tone.

She coughed, embarrassed. "I've, uh, heard he was a good teacher. I wouldn't know, being a girl and all."

"Stop flirting you sickening brats!" A new voice shrieked from the doorway. A woman's voice. Both Roxas and Namine blushed slightly at the inference of their teacher's words.

"I'm late. I'm not sorry. Consider it a life lesson," she stormed up to the whiteboard and angrily snatched a pen from her desk. Her bright green eyes hovered over the class for a few moments in an attempt to make them feel as little and pathetic as humanely possible. (She would have preferred inhumanely, but she wasn't prepared to be fired just yet.) "Today we are learning about…" The entire class ducked simultaneously. "France!" Her right arm jerked out suddenly, sending out several knives that cut through the air and impaled the specific country on the giant world map at the rear end of the classroom.

"Holy shit," Roxas wheezed. "What kind of school is this?"

"Hey you little brat!" Larxene turned to him angrily. "Pay attention to what I'm saying! Detention!"

"Hey Axel, do me a favour," said Xaldin, approaching the red headed teacher who was lying on the sofa lazily in the teacher's lounge.

"What kind of favour, Fisher?" Axel looked up. He was tired after having to teach two hours of p.e. to his students, and he wasn't in the best mood to be offering help. He stretched out his legs, which were garbed in bright red tracksuit bottoms and swung them around to the floor so that Xaldin could take a seat.

"I gave some little punk detention for tonight and I've just realised I've got to take my mother shopping. Can you fill in for me?"

"Ew, no. I have a life."

"I'll give you…" Xaldin rummaged around his wallet. "Twenty munny."

"Sold!" Axel grinned, swiping the small change and pocketing it. "I'm saving up for a trip to Las Vegas."

"Okay… thanks. Here's the details, I owe you one, kid."

"No problem!"

And so, when the poor, innocent Roxas entered the cookery room for his detention, he was rather surprised to see a young redheaded man with an evil grin standing behind the desk instead of "walking eyebrows" Mr Fisher. Something told him that this was going to be the worst detention of his life.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it! If you have something to say, that shiny review button is all it takes. Please and thank you! x3

There are more teachers to come in the future. If it gets confusing, tell me and I'll post a list of their roles. )


	2. Chapter 2

Beware, Roxas, beware! It's going to get a little strange, now. I like to think it's "Haha" strange and not "What are you on?" strange. If it's weird, you can blame my best friend, who is known on most sites as **PrincessKatana **and just happens to give me lots of crazy ideas on a plate. She has greatly contributed to this particular fic, so I thank her!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not Demyx, not Axel,and not "What's My Age Again?" Okay?

* * *

"Uh, where's Mr Fisher?" Roxas asked feebly as he entered the cooking room (which smelt of fish). He furrowed his eyebrows at the man, not sure whether he was a young teacher or just a tall student.

"Roxas, right? He's had to take a rain check, so you've got me instead," he grinned. "The name's Mr Flynn. F-L-Y-N-N. Got it memorised?"

The teenager stared at Axel in alarm. Was the guy high? Wait… he was the guy Namine was talking about. Which meant he was his P.E. teacher. "Er, yeah. What do you want me to do?"

"Hmmm," Axel started to circle around him, shark-like. "Why don't cha run around the room for me?"

"What?"

"You heard me, run around the room. NOW."

Terrified, Roxas flung his bag onto a nearby table and began to jog around the room, constantly swerving to miss the sharp ended desks and counters littered about the room. He stopped beside the teacher, clutching his left side, which had painfully collided with the corner of a desk.

"Hmm, this is a bit dangerous. We'd better go to the gym!" Mr Flynn grinned brightly.

"But sir… I don't have my p.e. kit."

"You could do it in your underwear."

"No way!"

"I'm only joking!" Axel pursed his lips. "I suppose I could let you go early…"

"Oh thanks sir!"

"Wait, I said suppose, right? How much munny do you have on you?"

Roxas backed away in alarm, making a mental note to report Mr Flynn to the police once he had got home. "I dunno, forty munny?"

"You give me your munny, I'll let you go free."

"But, I, er… I guess," he removed the munny from his wallet and handed it to his teacher, the coins making a satisfying clink as they landed in his hand.

"Thanks, I'm saving up for a trip to Las Vegas, you know."

"That's very nice," Roxas mumbled. He took a cautious look out of the window, it was streaked with long, thick waterfalls of rain, and the sky outside was a threatening shade of charcoal. "Oh geez." He'd just given all of his bus fare to Mr Flynn.

"What's up, Roxas?"

"I have to walk home in the rain," and then, forgetting the 'You must always respect teachers' rule, he added resentfully, "thanks to you."

"Oh, right," for the first time, Axel looked apologetic. "Do you want me to drive you home?"

Roxas grabbed his bag from the table irritably. "No. I'm not letting my teacher take me home, it's weird."

"Oh there you are, Axel!"

The pair turned around to see another young teacher peering from round the doorframe. He was tall, and cute with sea-green eyes, a dirty blonde mullet and an adorable piano tie. He gave them a good natured wave.

"I've been looking all over for you! I need you to drive me home!"

"Why do I need to drive you home, Demyx?" Axel sighed.

"You know my car got stolen two months ago!" He whined in response. "And I would ask Zexy to drive me but he has to stay back late to prepare for parent's evening!"

"Fine, I'll be ready in a few," Axel shuffled closer to Demyx shiftily. "He's in detention," he jabbed a thumb at Roxas, who narrowed his eyes at him.

"Aw, bless him! It's been a long time since I've ever had to do a detention with naughty kids like him!"

"Isn't that because you're too much of a pushover to actually punish kids? And you mostly teach the younger years anyway…"

"I suppose. Come on Axel, we need to get home!" Demyx tugged at his friend's arm desperately. "There's a movie marathon on Disney Cinemagic and I'll miss if it we don't hurry!"

"Seriously, how old are you?" Axel sighed, and then turned to Roxas. "Come on, Roxy. I'll drive you home."

"Please don't give me nicknames Mr Flynn," Roxas said awkwardly. "It's disturbing."

"Quit stalling, it's not as if I'm gonna shove you in my car boot and kidnap you. Seriously!"

"I wouldn't put it past you…" Demyx muttered under his breath.

Roxas didn't really have a choice in the matter, as Axel grabbed hold of his wrist and dragged him along to the car, pushed him into the passenger seat (much to Demyx's complaint), and then grinned at him charmingly. "Where do you live, Roxy?"

"I want to walk home!" He protested, having no effect on the teacher whatsoever.

"Hmm, Demyx do you know where that is? I don't think it's a real address…"

"Nope!" Demyx smiled cheerily, and then, leaning forward from the back seat, popped one of his own CDs into Axel's music player.

"Fine!" Roxas folded his arms in defeat. "It's fourteen Paopu Tree Drive."

"Ah, I know where that is!" Axel said proudly and hopped into the driver's seat.

The ride home was noisy. Axel's bright red car was rather old, and had an engine that constantly complained about having being used. Adding to the rattles and clanks from said engine, Demyx also whined about how rubbish the old heap of junk was compared to Zexion's car, and then would stop doing this so that he could sing at the top of his lungs to the songs on the CD.

"Well, I'm saving up for Las Vegas!" Axel yelled in defence. "I can't afford to spend fifty thousand munny on the latest Ferrari with leather seats, rockets for engines and cup-holders!"

Demyx ignored him and grabbed the headrest of Roxas' chair so that the teenager turned to face him . "I think I've got you in my class this year! I teach music! I look forward to seeing what instrument you play, Roxas."

"Back. Off," Axel hissed. "I'm very sorry about him Roxy. He's very grippy."

"I don't mind, he was only being friendly," the blonde shrugged.

Axel gasped, feeling the threatening wave of competition engulf every little spark in his brain. He realised that he would have to kick it up a notch.

"Wow Roxas, you have the most beautiful eyes," Axel drawled, quickly snagging the teenager's attention from the chatty music teacher. "You look like an angel."

Roxas eyed Mr Flynn warily, and then shuffled as far as he could get to the door as possible.

"Do you play an instrument Roxas?" Demyx asked brightly.

"No, but I've always wanted to learn how to play saxophone," Roxas replied, turning to face him. "Saxophonists always look really cool."

"Huh, well you know, it's the footballers and stuff that get the best girls… and guys, not lame saxophone players," Axel muttered, and then flashed his award winning grin Roxas' way.

"Yeah right, haven't you heard of Footballers' Wives? It's just full of slags!"

"Shut the hell up, O'Dorkohue, or else you're walking home!"

Demyx slumped back into his seat sulkily, and then began to hum along to the tune of "Surfing USA", a much more worthwhile alternative to arguing with the fiery red head.

"So, Roxy… what are you interested in?" Axel questioned calmly, twisting the steering wheel as he rounded a corner.

Roxas stiffened at the seemingly harmless question, unsure whether to trust his teacher or not. "I like skateboarding and video games."

"Me too!" Mr Flynn grinned, extending an arm out to rest his hand upon the teenager's knee. Roxas yelled, flailed around and whacked it defensively in response, causing Axel to lose control of the wheel and steer his car towards a brick wall. He swerved sharply back on to the road, a thousand complaints honking at him from the many irked drivers nearby as he did so.

"You can't do that, you freak!" Roxas screamed at him.

"Hey, if something bad happens to me in this car, I'll sue you!" Demyx announced from the back seat. "And change the song, I wanna listen to 'What's my age again'!"

"Shut up Demyx!" Axel replied angrily, pulling over at the side of the road. "Get out."

"What? No way!"

"I warned you, now get out." Having no effect on the poor music teacher, Axel got out of the car, opened the back door and pulled out the whinging Demyx.

"Hey! But it's MY house Axel!"

"Tough," he replied, getting back into his seat and taking off before Demyx could protest.

"Mr Flynn, that was horrible," Roxas mumbled, feeling very afraid of his P.E teacher and wishing that he could join Demyx in the ever safe outside world.

"Nah, he's fine," Axel waved a hand dismissively and turned his attention back to the road. Roxas stole a nervous glance in the mirror, frowning when he saw the image of Demyx frantically running behind in a vain attempt to catch up with them.

"This it?" Axel looked at him enquiringly, gesturing the row of sun kissed orange houses to their left.

"Yeah, this is it. Just park here, I can walk the rest."

He looked disappointed with the reply, "You sure?"

"Positive."

Axel sighed and pulled over. "Well, it was nice driving you home Roxy!" He grinned.

"Thanks Mr Flynn," Roxas replied sheepishly.

"My pleasure," Still smiling in that creepy way of his, he darted forward and pecked Roxas on the cheek.

Flushed tomato-red and furious, the teenager screamed, whacked Axel on the face and yelled, "What the fk?!"

"I was just saying goodbye," Axel beamed.

Not wanting to stick around for any more abuse from his teacher, Roxas yanked the door open and leapt out of the car, ensuring that he ran as fast as his legs could carry him back to his house.

* * *

The next day, Roxas had made it an obligation not to be seen by Mr Flynn. The red headed teacher was a weirdo, he had concluded, and it was in his best interests to avoid him at all costs. He wanted to forget him, and focus on the all important matter of trying to make some new friends. After a tedious maths lesson with Mr Thornton, who had a monotonous voice and some obvious anger issues that needed to be addressed, he stepped into his English classroom. He knew no one in this class, so he scoured the room for a possible candidate for a friend. There was a boy standing alone in the corner of the room, his head bent low to examine a sheet of paper, allowing his long emo fringe to flop down. He looked promising.

"Hi, I'm Roxas," he said kindly. There was no answer. "I'm new here, I just started here yesterday." Still no answer. He looked around for something to talk about. "I wonder when the teacher will arrive…"

The boy's head snapped up at that. He looked furious. "I AM the teacher," he hissed.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Roxas stumbled back, embarrassed at not noticing that the man wasn't dressed in school uniform.

"Do you know what it's like, having to put up with you little punks and your sass about my height every single day?"

"I'm really sorry, sir!"

"Quiet! I don't want to hear you make stupid excuses. You've just ruined my day. In fact, have a detention!" Mr Ishida angrily whipped out one of those dreaded pink slips and scrawled down Roxas' details. He thrust it into the teenager's hand and glowered at him. "Sit down."

Roxas quickly occupied one of the available seats, which was unfortunately situated at the front of the classroom. He jumped out of his skin as a copy of "Romeo and Juliet" and a clean exercise book slapped his table, almost hitting his innocent fingers.

"We're currently writing an essay about two of the characters in Romeo and Juliet, just take notes on everything I tell you to, and then you can catch up tomorrow in your detention," said Mr Ishida irritably, although it seemed as though he had calmed down a bit.

"Act two, scene four," said Zexion, holding up his copy of Romeo and Juliet pointedly. "I want Tony and Georgia to read as…" He trailed off, having his attention caught by the fact that the classroom door had been nudged open.

The perpetrator happened to be very tall, and very slim with very unmasculine hips that were hugged tightly by vibrant red trackie bottoms. His hair was wild, the brightest and boldest shade of red and sticking out in all directions, which was complimented by the intensely bright green eyes that glittered wickedly. Axel paid no attention to the class, not even gracing them with a wry comment (like he usually did). Instead he strode over to Roxas' table and sat down in the available seat, smiling as if this was a completely normal thing to do and as if he had done it all his life. Zexion just glowered at him.

"Axel, I mean Mr Flynn," he hissed, trying not to draw attention. "Don't you have a class you should be attending to?"

Axel pretended to think for a few moments, "Yeah, but they're not important." In response to Zexion's disapproving glare, he added weakly, "I wanna learn English real bad!"

Mr Ishida sighed, "Please, just get out. You're disturbing my class, and this is the only opportunity I get all day to have a break from you, so go."

The P.E teacher ignored him, instead turning to Roxas, whom was wearing an expression mixed between disgruntlement and fear.

"Hi Roxy."

Roxas ignored him.

"Axel, get out of my classroom!" Zexion yelled, his temper rising. He paused to think, realising that plain shouting at him was futile. "If you don't leave this instant… I won't make you any dinner tonight!" The class began to buzz with gossip, and having realised the implications of his less than thought through statement, he clapped a hand to his forward in frustration.

"I'll order take out!" Axel argued defiantly.

"Aren't you saving up for Las Vegas?" Zexion raised his visible eyebrow smugly.

"Damn you!" Axel stood up, defeated. He stroked Roxas arm, he shivered in response. "Bye Roxy."

"Get lost," Roxas scoffed in defence, having realised that there was little point in trying to ignore him.

"Your words hurt my soul!" Axel held his hands to his chest pathetically, and then shuffled away out of the room.

Zexion coughed awkwardly. "Well, forgetting that intrusion, let's get back to work. Now, in Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare uses dramatic irony, which means that the audience know a fact in the play that most of the characters don't." He stopped and began to write notes upon the board.

"Hey sir!" A cheeky silver-haired boy jeered from the back of the class. "I can't see what you're writing, it's too low down!"

"That is it!" Zexion screeched, storming out of the classroom furiously.

* * *

A few points I need to make:

1. The Las Vegas issue will be actually relevant some day.

2. Axel, Zexion and Demyx all share an apartment. xD

3. Reviews, like chocolatey cereal, make me very happy. :D

4. I **adore** you Zexion.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything. D:

* * *

"And that's when ENGLAND single-handedly won the Second World War," Luxord concluded airily, snapping his text book shut to heighten the significance of his "true" story. "Any questions?"

Riku's hand shot straight into the air. "Mr Atkins, didn't Australia win the Second World War?"

"I think that you'll find, lad," the history teacher said, facing the lamp in the corner of the room instead of the student as if it was the one who'd spoken. "That Australia was not involved in the Texas County War."

"Aren't we talking about World War Two?" Riku's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "And I'm over here, sir."

"Oh, yes, good," Luxord nodded, turned to face the class.

"Namine," Roxas bent his head down and whispered to the girl beside him. She faced him, eyes widening slightly, an invitation for him to continue. "What is WRONG with Mr Atkins?"

"I don't know," she murmured in reply. "He's either drunk or on drugs, I think."

"What kind of school is this?"

"I know, even I sometimes think that it's not completely normal."

Poor girl has never been to a regular school before, Roxas thought, and then he smiled. "I'm really glad we're friends, Namine. I'd have never thought I would have met such a great person so quickly."

Namine beamed, "Me too. Well, in reverse, you know…" Blushing furiously, she hunched over her textbook, pretending it was more important than the oh so adorable Roxas sitting beside her.

"Sir, many countries participated in the victory of the Second World War," Olette explained calmly.

"I'm the teacher, love, not you," Luxord snapped in retort. He ran a shaking hand over his union jack sweater, pressing it down firmly. "Besides, since when have, you, Princess Peach, known more about history than anyone else? Holy shitcakes! Batman!" He jabbed a finger in Sora's direction, smiling in awe and stumbling across the classroom to grab at the terrified teenager's hand. "I'm your biggest fan!"

"Heeelp me!" Sora squealed, great cerulean eyes widening in fright as the British teacher clawed at his shirt. Fortunately, the insane history teacher snapped back to a sense of a reality and loosened his grip, allowing the teenager to snatch his arm away.

"Right, back to history," Luxord nodded to himself. "The most vital factor to ENGLAND'S victory was the invention of one of the most fantastic weapons of all time. Can anyone tell me what that was?"

"The tank!" Pence yelled, smirking proudly at the vast array of knowledge he had been storing in that obnoxiously large brain of his.

"Wrong!"

The smirk disappeared clean off his face, his eyebrows furrowed, crestfallen. "But, sir…"

"WRONG!" Luxord said more firmly. "We English invented the Howitzer. A kick ass cannon that could blow Mount Everest's knickerbockers clean off."

"Sir, please," Olette began, joining the academic fray. "The Howitzer was a German creation. It's name clearly shows this…"

Mr Atkins narrowed his eyes very tightly, and then opened his mouth to put forth another argument (perhaps one that contained a wide range of colourful vocabulary) however the class was spared this when the bright red bell in the corridor outside shrieked and convulsed, signally the lesson's end.

* * *

It was geography again after break time. Except for the lovely experience of being able to sit beside quiet, gentle Namine, Roxas dreaded the lesson with an utmost passion that burned so bright it could rival the sun in it's ferocity. However, as the day had progressed, he had been catching snippets of gossip hissing throughout the hallways of Destiny Islands High… gleeful exclaims, excited clapping of hands, eyes bright, that Ms Moromiya was absent with the flu. And so, Roxas was pretty damn happy as he slipped into the seat beside Namine's, knowing fine well that he could have a peaceful hour of relaxation. However, to quote that wonderfully wise man Auron, "This is MY story, and Roxas' happiness is not a part of it."

"Sup, kiddies?" The skinny red-headed teacher grinned as he pushed open the door of the classroom and glided over to the desk. Roxas contemplated stabbing his wrist with the pointy end of his compass.

Axel regarded the class with a smirk, allowing it to grow wider as he heard the series of wistful gasps from the vast majority of the students before him. However, it dropped dramatically as he noticed the cute blonde sitting beside his "one true love", who happened to be blushing and giggling at everything Roxas said (even when it was not in the slightest bit amusing). He folded his arms and sniffed. Pathetic.

"Okay, let's see here," Mr Flynn picked up the notes that the geography department had left on Larxene's desk and examined them carefully. "If the subject fails to respond… Huh? Ah, wrong note!" He selected the correct one and held it up to the light. "Apparently, you bunch of Einsteins are gonna be colouring in the big bad world map this lesson!" He laughed, not bothering to smother it for politeness' sake and then settled on the comfy, fluffy chair Larxene had brought in from home, gaze firmly fixed on the depressed blonde teenager right in front of him.

"Hi Roxy," he breathed. No reply. Instead, Roxas turned to his female companion and began a discussion on sea salt ice-cream. "That's my favourite!" Axel exclaimed in an attempt to join in the conversation, receiving an embarrassed smile from Namine; Roxas didn't even twitch in recognition. The p.e. teacher stood up angrily, gaining the full class' attention. "I'm tired and I've got a hangover, so you kids can just shut the hell up for the rest of the lesson. Got it memorised?"

The class fell silent, and so most of the lesson dragged by without incident. Axel was well and truly bored out of his skull. How could Larxene STAND this terrible hour of utter torture, stuck at a desk, watching all the precious teenagers colour in diagrams? At last, opportunity struck. The girl before him finally acted as her hair colour intended, as she blushed furiously and handed Roxas a note.

"No notes in class!" Axel pounced, snatching the scarp of paper up and holding it up in the air, hand on hip, in a victory stance. "You KNOW the punishment for passing notes, blondie," he grinned, emerald eyes flashing wickedly. Namine flushed tomato-red, mortified.

"P-please don't read it out, Mr Flynn," she begged.

"Something to hide? Now I'm definitely interested," Axel smirked and then peered at her neat, delicate handwriting. "'Hi Roxas'," he sneered in a terrible rendition of a female voice. "'Ever since you came here, I've felt that we've had a connection. You're so cute and smart and funny, and I shouldn't even be asking you this, but…'" he stopped screeching to take a dramatic intake of breath. "'Well, I really like you Roxas, and I was thinking that we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Love Namine. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.'"

Namine looked as if she was about to cry. Roxas was struggling from choosing whether to be mortally embarrassed, furiously angry or plain old shell-shocked. The next day, his blonde friend refused to speak to him, as did practically most of the females in the entire school. Lesson of the day: Axel is a total dick.

* * *

I hate Namine, but even I feel a little sorry for her now. xD

When Axel says "Let's see here" and picked up the note I completely did it unintentionally. xD I decided to go all the way and make a reference for the fun of it all. :)

Reviews are very much appreciated. :)


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four, already? I am proud! xD Here's a nice long one for ya!

Disclaimer: If I owned Kingdom Hearts, Final Mix 2 would have an American/European release so fast it could kill you. But I don't, sadly, and I'm not trying to make any profit or anything. xD

* * *

Roxas knew that he would not be able to avoid this dreaded lesson forever. He had skipped the first couple of lessons, having first gathered (fake) genuine excuses for his absence, but now he was running short. And so, as he waited outside the gym amongst the crowd of his gibbering classmates, he could feel every impulse in his brain buzz in desperation, screaming at him to run, run away in the opposite direction. Oh, how he wished that he had listened to them.

"Hey, kiddies," Mr Flynn almost sang as he approached the gym, swinging his keys around in an elliptical orbit, and successfully whacking Hayner in the shins with his efforts. He flinched as the teenager yelled in his ear, but then smirked with an infantile triumph, as if he had just scored gold in the Olympics of child abuse.

"Hey Roxy," he said softly in the blonde's ear. Roxas had found that he had got used to how his teacher's breath tickled his ear in a most certainly illegal way, so now, instead of shivering in fright, he instinctively swung out his arm and delivered an agonising blow to Axel's stomach. He received a yelp of indignation, but not much else. Not surprising, really, a pervert like him would have had developed some sort of immunity against punches of outrage now.

Axel fiddled around with his keys for a moment, muttering nonsense, such as "You're so cruel, Roxy" and "I was only saying hello", before he selected the right one and shoved it in the lock. "Before you guys go in, I have set some new rules." He paused, glowering at the students whom had filled the space of silence with nervous gossip. "Shaddup. Now, everyone has to take a shower after gym for various health regulations, except for…" Mr Flynn then reeled off a long list of names from the register, raising his eyebrows in irritation whenever he was interrupted by a sigh of relief from one of the students, until, at last, he was done, and he stood with a catlike smirk plastered across his smug features. This was when Roxas realised that he was the only one present who had not had his name called out; he was ashamed of himself for not expecting it from the redheaded creep.

The class began to file in through the green swing doors of the gym, but as Roxas tried to make his escape into the cool confinement of the building before him, he was restrained with his teacher's large, thin hand. Axel's head was bent low, his thin lips curved downwards into a frown.

"Roxas… when were you going to tell me about her?" He asked quietly, his voice dripping with a damaged angst, as if someone had just shot his beloved pet pony before his very eyes in an act of cold-blooded hatred.

"Tell you about who?"

"You know…_her_."

Roxas furrowed his eyebrows, confusion swimming behind his eyes in a ghost-like manner. "You mean Namine?"

"Yes! Of course I mean Namine! Unless…" Axel broke off, practically tearful. "Unless there are others…

The teenager huffed a sigh and tried to push past his teacher, eager to escape the weird and ridiculous questions that were spilling from his lips, but to no avail, the redhead's grip held strong..

"Mr Flynn, Namine isn't my girlfriend. She's barely speaking to me now because of you, and even if she is, why the hell would I think to go and tell you?"

"I'm sorry Roxy," Axel gave a watery smile. "I should have trusted you. I forgive you." He then pulled Roxas into a bone-crushing embrace (that was a little too touch-feely for the blonde's liking), which was soon dissolved by Axel shrieking as sharp shoots of pain were now jolting through his left foot.

P.E. was certainly not fun. First of all, Roxas had barely enough time to change into his sportswear because of Mr Flynn holding him back for those few, agonising minutes. The process of changing was dragged out much longer than he would have liked, as said teacher kept peering into the locker rooms, yelling that whoever was late into the gym would be running laps around the field in their underwear, and then gazing at Roxas for long periods of time, until he was sent away by the blonde throwing one of his Skechers in his direction. He regretted this instantly, as it just so happened that Axel jumped at the chance of owning a piece of Roxas' clothing: he quickly retrieved the shoe, sniffed it and then scurried out of the room like a rat who had obtained a particularly shiny set of Egyptian jewellery. The Skecher was never seen again.

The actual lesson was even more distressing than Roxas could have ever deemed possible. Axel had spent the lesson ordering everyone around, isolating the blonde and making him do terribly embarrassing tasks, such as gymnastics, press-ups and long distance, sweaty laps encircling the gym, whilst simultaneously trying to ignore the lecherous emerald eyes of his paedophilic P.E. teacher burning a hole in his rear end. Things don't just get any more illegal than this, do they?

Oh, wait, but they do. Axel held his word when he said that Roxas would be taking a shower after the lesson, although he had to make everyone else do it too ( as another P.E. teacher, Zell, had scolded him from picking on Roxas and not obeying school rules) "except for Pence". The redhead teacher attempted to spy on the object of his affection numerous times, but to no avail, as Zell was not having it and kept a strong gaze on him. He was soon disposed of when Axel called him a chickenwuss and informed him that his mother was fat, the poor blonde ran crying to the staffroom to cook himself a hotdog. Mr Flynn took advantage of Roxas' absence by sneaking over to his pile of gym clothing (showing off his 'mad ninja skillz') and swiping them.

The blonde was far from pleased when he found most of his clothes missing, and he had to bite down hard to stop himself from screaming at the top of his lungs. This just happened to be the worst day of his entire life, even worse than the time he'd been dragged to watch the Thunderbirds movie with Sora, and had spent the duration of it being attacked with popcorn from the obnoxious pieces of shit in the back row and wincing from the painfully cheesy lines that the hyperactive actors were screaming.

* * *

Since Namine (his only friend in the world) had decided that she couldn't face speaking to him, Roxas had been forced to hang around with his annoyingly happy-go-lucky cousin, Sora (whose sunny disposition was so sickeningly powerful it could make lollipops cry) and his delinquent smart-ass best friend, Riku. None of them, it seemed, were particularly delighted with this arrangement.

"Hmm, what are you getting for lunch, Riku?" Sora asked his silver-haired companion pleasantly.

"Dunno, food probably," Riku replied with a twisted smirk, causing Sora to erupt into a dangerously hysterical fit of giggles. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Oh wow, that muffin sure looks good!" A giggle interrupted the teenagers' conversation. They looked up to see the pink-haired drama teacher, whom was never seen without his white silk rose shirt and his eccentric beret, lodged on his thick wig of hair in a jaunty angle.

"Hey, you can't just cut in!" Riku argued defiantly, stamping his foot on the ground to help reinforce his point. Roxas couldn't help suppress a glower, aware that this particular teacher happened to have handed him his second detention of his first day.

"Oh hohoho," Mr Kando laughed good-naturedly. "Well, in fact, little boy, I was here to speak to this little angel right here," he gestured to Roxas with a delicate hand. The blonde frowned: Great, this was just what he needed: another teacher to obsess over him. Marluxia held out an arm and waggled his pink eyebrows, hinting for the teenager to link with him; Roxas sighed and reluctantly attached himself to the teacher.

"I suppose you're wondering why I've kidnapped you, aren't you, my dear?" Marluxia asked softly as he led the teenager through the corridors of Destiny Islands High.

"Yeah, I am actually," Roxas responded moodily. "To tell you the truth, sir, I've had a really bad day and all I want to do is get my lunch and take a little break from it all, so if this isn't important…"

"But it is important!" Marluxia practically screamed back at him. "Right, here we are…" He stopped in front of an empty classroom and fumbled for the doorknob, as most of the space on the door had been covered up with a gigantic poster featuring the latest school play, "If I Only Had A Heart".

"Now darling," he began, perched on his desk and leaning forward towards Roxas, a small smirk present on his features. "I've been taking a look at your file from your last school, I had to sweet-talk old Xemnas for it, but it was definitely worth it," he winked, long eyelashes fluttering. Roxas straightened himself up in his chair, paranoid as ever. "So, I've heard you're good at drama."

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm great at it…" Roxas scratched the back of his head, blonde spikes ruffling messily. "I'm not that great in front of big crowds either."

"Aw, that's a shame… since a little birdie told me that you weren't too fond of P.E…."

The teen sat up even straighter, as if the spark of interest had jolted electricity straight up through his bones and locked him into a rigid position. "What are you talking about?"

"Well… it's a policy of or school to allow selected students drop physical education if they show talent in the performing arts." Marluxia sat back smugly, arms crossed, aware that he had just hit a particularly vulnerable patch of the blonde's consciousness.

"So, you're saying that if I agree to taking drama, there'll be no more Mr Fly- I mean P.E?" Roxas said slowly, unable to believe what the drama teacher was actually offering him. Finally, things were looking up for him! Maybe he might grow to like Riku and Sora… and perhaps his absence from p.e would quell Axel's disturbing interest in him… and Namine would speak to him again!

"That's _exactly_ what I'm saying, Roxas," Marluxia purred, resting his chin on his delicate, white hand, his lips curved in triumph.

* * *

The staffroom was dimly illuminated by the failing ancient light bulbs that hung awkwardly from the ceiling; papers flung everywhere and anywhere were abandoned by the eager-to escape teachers whilst crumbs and coffee stains were scattered across the floor, and all that could be heard was the gentle scrunching sound of Axel's trainers on the cheap, thin carpet and the monotonous hum of the television in the corner of the room, which displayed another dreadful and undelightful episode of 'Antique's Roadshow'. This was why Axel tried to avoid finishing late (in accordance with the rest of the staff), as the room was certainly creepy in the evening, especially when everyone else was long gone.

Axel scoured his pidgeonhole quickly, desperate to get home, his feline eyes unaccustomed to the dark, forcing him to feel around for a stray letter or notice.

There was a creak from the doorway; he jumped up, terrified, only to see that it was just Marluxia returning from the school play preparations, and was here to collect his things (and not a zombie like he had first thought, although the concept wasn't too outrageous when it came to the rose-haired man).

"Bonjour, Axel," Marluxia smirked, a letter twiddling through his fingers in an almost tormenting manner. "Just the man I was hoping to see."

"Oh really, now?" Axel stood up straight, hands on hips, glaring at the drama teacher in challenge. He eyed the letter suspiciously, "What's that?"

"Why, it's for you, of course!" Mr Kando's voice was sickly sweet to match his bubblegum coloured hair. "Xemnas asked me to pass it on to you. Now if you don't mind…" He pushed past Axel, far from gently, and grabbed his belongings. "Ciao!" He waved, before turning tail and leaving the room.

Axel examined the note with a glare, which read:

_"Hi there, Mr Flynn! This is MarMar! Have you ever heard of that little rule our school has that whoever wants to do drama can switch it with P.E.? Professionally speaking, you just have to be informed of who's dropping your class by yours truly… so here I am! Your register will be one pupil short as of tomorrow, can you guess who the little guy is? Starts with an R and ends with AS. That's right, Roxas!_

Until next time

Mr Kando (With me as your teacher, you can do it too!)TM

The note was soon scrunched into a tiny, ripped paper ball as Axel finished reading the letter. "That bastard!" He gritted his teeth, furious. "This means _war_."

* * *

I'm like a carnival machine, the more reviews you give me, the faster I write. Hintety Hint Hint. xD


End file.
